i stopped posting on insta months ago and now people tell me "oh what are you up to, we know nothing about what's going on!" but they could just ask? i much prefer having catch-ups then just assuming we all know what's happening in each other's lives based on stories and posts. but that's what social media has done to relationships, i guess.
YES! YES! YES! now that i’m mostly off of IG, i find a stronger urge to connect with people IRL or by calling/texting so we can talk and spend quality time together. i love what you said about the assumption of it all because it’s so true. people /think/ they know what’s going on so they never reach out but that’s actually what i want people to do 🧍🏽♀️
okay jaz??? this was the spiritual slap i didn’t know i needed. like YES. surveillance ≠ sisterhood!!! we are not FBI agents, we are friends!! and babe, the way you articulated that tension between “feeling close” and being chronically online—ugh, chef’s kiss. i’m deleting apps and touching grass in your honor.
this is your ✨golden age of friendship✨ arc and i’m HERE for it. now excuse me while i call a friend just to say “hi” and maybe cry a lil bit.
keep preaching, priestess of real connection. we’re listening (and not just lurking).
OMGGGGGG YOU SEE THE VISION!!! it makes me so happy to know that this piece resonated with you so much! i wish you nothing but more calls and intimate exchanges with ur friends :)
I needed to read this. Your headline is such a succinct way of putting it too. One of my favorite experiences I’ve done lately with friends was going to a bonsai workshop. It was glorious to get our hands a little dirty together and create something we’d never done before. Looking for more experiences like this. Thank you!
thank you so much!!! a bonsai workshop sounds so lovely!!! i'd love to hear more about your experience - how did you find it and what was it like?? i live for experiences like these
It was great! I found out about it because I’m friends with the owners of the venue it was taking place in — an occult shop a couple towns over. I invited a few other friends I knew would be into it and we went ahead and did it. It was a nice mix of educational and just totally chill creative time.
Highly recommend seeking out any type of class to do things with your hands and be off a screen to anyone who will listen!
This is deep, I unfollowed friends on socials. Not because I don’t like them but because I want to speak to them.
Watching stories and posts gives a false sense of connection. I told them, it’s not personal. I don’t mind strangers or acquaintances being on the screen. But my close friends???
No ma’am
Let’s frolic in th park whilst we talk and create new memories.
loved this so much ✨ tbh feels weird to be commenting/interfacing digitally after reading this (i know we don’t know each other in real life!) but i found everything you wrote to be super thoughtful and am grateful to have read your thoughts!
hahahhaa the meta nature of it all!! thank you so much for reading and it makes me so giddy to hear that you liked the piece. i definitely appreciate our digital interactions and admire your writing as well hehe <3
this is so real. thank you for articulating what many of us are probably trying to grapple with on a daily basis. social media really keeps us in the illusion of connection! what we perceive as being connected really just becomes a way for us to avoid true intimacy. ugh brb gonna go text my friends now hahah
this makes me feel so so so happy thank you for sharing that you connected with this piece! it was honestly a hard pill to swallow and a little weird and confusing to wrap my head around at first. and yes!!! go text ur friends!!! better yet call!!!
Omg let’s goooOoooo! I have more to say, but will just let you know here a 90s Fil-Am bb who has a ginormous digital footprint, seeing posts like this makes me feel less alone and more open to sharing on Substack. The digital leap is very real. ❤️🔥
This article was such a gem. It was so relatable and I think sometimes we build parasocial relationships with our "friends" and we don't even know because of social media. I have been trying to get off social media lately but I am scared that I would be incessantly bored out of my mind.
HEAVY on the weird parasocial relationships with people we know IRL. I hate it!!!! I am always in the camp of people getting off of social media (except substack ofc, LOL). boredom is natural and needed!! its okay to be bored! it can lead to such beautiful things like creating and consuming different art mediums, IRL connections, a good walk, the possibilities are endless!
I reached out to about 5 friends who I hadn’t seen in a long time and 2 did ignore my DM but 3 hanged out with me and I was so happy to had reached out! I yearn for the social media less life, but a part of me loves content that inspires me to go out and try thing…. thank you for the recommendations!
this is amazing i hope you had such an awesome time with your friends!! kudos to you for reaching out <3 i agree, i think it's all about a balance. social media platforms can be beneficial but personally, i just have to be careful that i don't let it suck the life and time out of me. thank YOU for reading and sharing :)
Great read.Yeah I am basically off the gram unless I check on my laptop. And I realized a lot of my catching up my friends included exchanging memes all day. But I am also struggling with a need for silence and solo time. So I need to transition to actually reaching out to my friends but that also feels kind of exhausting at the moment. And all my friends are wonderful people to be around. I am just craving solitude.
totally with you!!! that's how i use instagram at the moment too. it's also totally okay for you to take a beat and recharge by spending quality time with yourself. deepening connections and reaching out /is/ work, it's not always easy. sometimes we just need a little time for ourselves too! <3 sending you love
i love this and relate so much!!
i stopped posting on insta months ago and now people tell me "oh what are you up to, we know nothing about what's going on!" but they could just ask? i much prefer having catch-ups then just assuming we all know what's happening in each other's lives based on stories and posts. but that's what social media has done to relationships, i guess.
YES! YES! YES! now that i’m mostly off of IG, i find a stronger urge to connect with people IRL or by calling/texting so we can talk and spend quality time together. i love what you said about the assumption of it all because it’s so true. people /think/ they know what’s going on so they never reach out but that’s actually what i want people to do 🧍🏽♀️
SAME!!
okay jaz??? this was the spiritual slap i didn’t know i needed. like YES. surveillance ≠ sisterhood!!! we are not FBI agents, we are friends!! and babe, the way you articulated that tension between “feeling close” and being chronically online—ugh, chef’s kiss. i’m deleting apps and touching grass in your honor.
this is your ✨golden age of friendship✨ arc and i’m HERE for it. now excuse me while i call a friend just to say “hi” and maybe cry a lil bit.
keep preaching, priestess of real connection. we’re listening (and not just lurking).
xoxo,
- Sar, your hype girl in solidarity 💖📞🌱
OMGGGGGG YOU SEE THE VISION!!! it makes me so happy to know that this piece resonated with you so much! i wish you nothing but more calls and intimate exchanges with ur friends :)
This is the PERFECT reply and sign off 🫶🏾
I needed to read this. Your headline is such a succinct way of putting it too. One of my favorite experiences I’ve done lately with friends was going to a bonsai workshop. It was glorious to get our hands a little dirty together and create something we’d never done before. Looking for more experiences like this. Thank you!
thank you so much!!! a bonsai workshop sounds so lovely!!! i'd love to hear more about your experience - how did you find it and what was it like?? i live for experiences like these
It was great! I found out about it because I’m friends with the owners of the venue it was taking place in — an occult shop a couple towns over. I invited a few other friends I knew would be into it and we went ahead and did it. It was a nice mix of educational and just totally chill creative time.
Highly recommend seeking out any type of class to do things with your hands and be off a screen to anyone who will listen!
This is deep, I unfollowed friends on socials. Not because I don’t like them but because I want to speak to them.
Watching stories and posts gives a false sense of connection. I told them, it’s not personal. I don’t mind strangers or acquaintances being on the screen. But my close friends???
No ma’am
Let’s frolic in th park whilst we talk and create new memories.
YES!!! it shouldn't be personal or that serious to unfollow someone online. if we're still rockin with each other in person that's all that matters!
loved this so much ✨ tbh feels weird to be commenting/interfacing digitally after reading this (i know we don’t know each other in real life!) but i found everything you wrote to be super thoughtful and am grateful to have read your thoughts!
hahahhaa the meta nature of it all!! thank you so much for reading and it makes me so giddy to hear that you liked the piece. i definitely appreciate our digital interactions and admire your writing as well hehe <3
Love this!!!
thank you!~
looking at people's instastory is tempting but i now prefer to ask people how they do to know what they actually do!!
yes!!!! the instastories are temporary, the convo lasts forever (in our brain)
this is so real. thank you for articulating what many of us are probably trying to grapple with on a daily basis. social media really keeps us in the illusion of connection! what we perceive as being connected really just becomes a way for us to avoid true intimacy. ugh brb gonna go text my friends now hahah
this makes me feel so so so happy thank you for sharing that you connected with this piece! it was honestly a hard pill to swallow and a little weird and confusing to wrap my head around at first. and yes!!! go text ur friends!!! better yet call!!!
Omg let’s goooOoooo! I have more to say, but will just let you know here a 90s Fil-Am bb who has a ginormous digital footprint, seeing posts like this makes me feel less alone and more open to sharing on Substack. The digital leap is very real. ❤️🔥
OMG TWINNNNN!!! yes yes <3 sending u love and encouragement to share your writing on subby!
Love this so much 🥹
thank you so much!
oop clock it….the title is already telling me everything I need to know but the article still must be read in 3, 2…
appreciate you!!
This article was such a gem. It was so relatable and I think sometimes we build parasocial relationships with our "friends" and we don't even know because of social media. I have been trying to get off social media lately but I am scared that I would be incessantly bored out of my mind.
HEAVY on the weird parasocial relationships with people we know IRL. I hate it!!!! I am always in the camp of people getting off of social media (except substack ofc, LOL). boredom is natural and needed!! its okay to be bored! it can lead to such beautiful things like creating and consuming different art mediums, IRL connections, a good walk, the possibilities are endless!
i loved this and especially the way it was written! let’s all go outside!!!!!
thank you so much and yes!!!! we all need to touch grass!!!!
I reached out to about 5 friends who I hadn’t seen in a long time and 2 did ignore my DM but 3 hanged out with me and I was so happy to had reached out! I yearn for the social media less life, but a part of me loves content that inspires me to go out and try thing…. thank you for the recommendations!
this is amazing i hope you had such an awesome time with your friends!! kudos to you for reaching out <3 i agree, i think it's all about a balance. social media platforms can be beneficial but personally, i just have to be careful that i don't let it suck the life and time out of me. thank YOU for reading and sharing :)
Great read.Yeah I am basically off the gram unless I check on my laptop. And I realized a lot of my catching up my friends included exchanging memes all day. But I am also struggling with a need for silence and solo time. So I need to transition to actually reaching out to my friends but that also feels kind of exhausting at the moment. And all my friends are wonderful people to be around. I am just craving solitude.
totally with you!!! that's how i use instagram at the moment too. it's also totally okay for you to take a beat and recharge by spending quality time with yourself. deepening connections and reaching out /is/ work, it's not always easy. sometimes we just need a little time for ourselves too! <3 sending you love
Yup!! This is why my social media is not for my friends. If you want to know about me, ask!
period!!!